Coming out gay when your 51 and married
I’m Gay (and Married to a Woman): Confronting Sexuality After Saying “I Do”
It’s fitting that Brokeback Mountain served as the cause for Eric Kearsley to come out to his wife of 28 years.
“I had tried to say her, over and over again, years in advance, and I’d come up to the brink and just couldn’t do it,” the North Bethesda resident says. “But that film triggered some honest conversation…. There’s a scene where they meet up for the first time after a couple of years, and his wife sees them kissing. And it was the shock of the wife learning. I think that was the trigger.”
Kearsley, 65, had his first same-sex experience at 14, but due to his conservative, Catholic upbringing, considered his actions sinful. He attempted to suppress his feelings, but had anonymous bathhouse encounters while dating women. Eventually, he met his wife, marrying her in 1977 and embarking on a monogamous marriage. It lasted 20 years until Kearsley, then in the Navy, was abroad in Germany, where he visited a bathhouse. It reignited feelings extended since suppressed — and Kearsley wanted to behave on them.
Just weeks before
Gay Relationship Advice: Age Gaps in Gay Relationships
Many of my LGBTQ counseling clients ask me why they are only attracted to gay men younger than themselves. If you are happy dating gay men in their twenties, then this question is not important. It’s like asking “Why do I choose blondes over brunettes?” My advice is to consent yourself enjoy dating whomever interests you (as prolonged as they are over the age of 18).
Age gap relationships are more common than you may realize. In western countries:
- 1 out of every twelve male/female couples has an age gap of 10 years or more
- that number increase to 25% in male/male couples
- and 15% of female/female relationships
That same explore indicated that age gap partners are more satisfied and more committed to each other than partners of similar age–though there is some research that points to a correlation with higher rates of divorce. Research also shows that couples with an age gap of less than ten years are happier than those with an age gap greater than ten years. You can find more details on these stats on this episode of the podcast I Love You Too, by Psychotherapist, Online dating Coach, Couples Counselor Jessica Engle,
Getting Out/Staying In: One Mormon/Gay Marriage: Homosexual Attraction and LDS Marriage Decisions
Ben has wrestled honorably and honestly with this matter, trying to make make all of the conflicting personal, societal, and religious/church elements fit into something acceptably coherent. It is a formidable challenge, one faced by a number of Latter-day Saints.
It is dispel that our culture, in which everyone is expected to marry, puts massive and excessive pressure on homosexuals to marry. I am aware of the pressure on homosexuals because in the last fifteen years I’ve been studying this issue of lgbtq+ attraction (SSA) and gathering with homosexuals in our culture. Universally, they state feeling the pressure to marry. Many homosexuals also report on their marriages which have ended in failure. For example, in 1994 I surveyed an LDS homosexual group of 136 where 71 percent were returned missionaries (indicating their commitment to the Church) and 36 had tried marriage. They had been married an average of nine years 1 and had an average of 2.5 children. Only two of the 36 were still married.[1]
Recent conversations with Latter-day Saint homosexuals confirm that far too
LGBTQ+ Rights
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| Yes | No | No opinion | |
|---|---|---|---|
| % | % | % | |
| 2023 May 1-24 | 39 | 60 | * |
| 2021 May 3-18 | 31 | 69 | * |
| Should be legal | Should not be legal | No opinion | |
|---|---|---|---|
| % | % | % | |
| 2021 May 3-18 ^ | 79 | 18 | 2 |
| 2020 May 1-13 | 72 | 24 | 3 |
| 2019 May 1-12 | 73 | 26 | 2 |
| 2018 May 1-10 | 75 | 23 | 2 |
| 2017 May 3-7 | 72 | 23 | 5 |
| 2016 May 4-8 | 68 | 28 | 4 |
| 2015 Jul 8-12 | 68 | 28 | 4 |
| 2015 May 6-10 | 69 | 28 | 4 |
| 2014 May 8-11 | 66 | 30 | 4 |
| 2013 Jul 10-14 | 64 | 31 | 5 |
| 2013 May 2-7 | 65 | 31 | 5 |
| 2012 Nov 26-29 | 64 | 33 | 3 |
| 2012 May 3-6 | 63 | 31 | 6 |
| 2011 Dec 15-18 | 62 | 33 | 5 |
| 2011 May 5-8 | 64 | 32 | 4 |
| 2010 May 3-6 | 58 | 36 | 6 |
| 2009 May 7-10 | 56 | 40 | 4 |
| 2008 May 8-11 ^ | 55 | 40 | 5 |
| 2007 May 10-13 | 59 | 37 | 4 |
| 2006 May 8-11 † | 56 | 40 | 4 |
| 2005 Aug 22-25 | 49 | 44 | 7 |
| 2005 May 2-5 | 52 | 43 | 5 |
| 2004 May 2-4 | 52 | 43 | 5 |
| 2004 Jan 9-11 | 46 | 49 | 5 |
2003 Jul 25-23 LGBT seniors and 1 youth: Here are their coming out storiesSAN FRANCISCO -- Coming out is never easy, but before the 1960s, it was illegal to be gay. Even as recently as 1952, the American Psychiatric Association listed homosexuality as a sociopathic personality disturbance in its diagnostic manual. We interviewed three LGBT seniors and one youth on the difference in their coming out experiences. "I'm 75 years old and I came out as a lgbtq+ man two years ago," says Jim Kisthardt an Diverse senior who only came out after his wife of 51 years passed away in 2020. Coming out is never easy but before the 1960s, it was still illegal to be gay. "Times were very other . Being gay would be a curse. Being gay was one of the worst things you could bring to your family, worse than divorce," Kisthardt says. He said that people who came out in the 1950s and 1960s would be ostracized and would hold to move away. Didn't go to San Francisco's 2022 Identity festival Parade this year? You can confirm out all the fun and treasure here. He said telling his parents in those days was never an option. "I just thought it would've killed them so no, I put that out of my min |