Why are some women attracted to gay men
This article first appeared on The Conversation.
For years, friendships between straight women and gay men have been a subject of pop culture fascination. Books, television shows and feature-length films contain all highlighted this unique relationship, noted for its closeness and depth.
But with society's attitudes toward gays and lesbians changing, it's develop all the more important to construct a holistic comprehending of the relationships between gay and straight people.
As a researcher in social psychology, I've often wondered: Why do linear female-gay male relationships work so well? Why are vertical women so drawn to having homosexual men as friends? And when undertake these relationships typically form?
During the course of my study, I've discovered that the most engaging, compelling—and, arguably, most theoretically coherent—explanation is through the lens of evolution.
Specifically, I believe evolutionary psychology and human mating can help interpret why relationships between straight women and gay men manage to flourish.
A defended bet
At first glance, this explanation may seem quite counterintuitive. (After all, unbent women and queer men don't mate with
Re: i'm a female & i'm (sexually) attracted to gay guys
Unread postby Sam W »
Got it, so it does sound like a big part of this simply has to do with a certain type of guy (but not the only type of guy) you find attractive.
When you want to be a guy in those moments, what is it, specifically, that you want? Is it to be able to engage in certain things sexually? To have a certain role in a sexual dynamic? Something else? And when you say this happens when you see adorable gay guys in your surroundings, are those guys who you know are gay, or who stare a certain way?
With fetishizing or objectifying people, that depends on whether you see these guys as individual, unique humans or more as a blank slate that you can project your desires onto. It's also sound to think about what's attracting you to them and how much of it might be based on stereotypes about that specific group (it might be the case that none of it is) rather than the realities of that individual person.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the last blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and insert out all your energy of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter Unread postby Heather » Honestly? I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you feel worst, but you're stereotyping here (and tokenizing a minute bit, too): not all gay men look the same way. Small, "soft" men come in every orientation, and there are also loads of queer men that don't glance anything like that. How gay men look is literally as diverse as how men of every other orientation do, you know? Too, if you're talking about men who present as femme, that's also something that isn't exclusive to gay men. Bisexual and other lgbtq+ men as well as straight men are also men who can and do present as femme (they just often notice less supported in it and allowed to act it, sadly, including by straight women). My Husband’s Not Gay, a show on TLC, has caused an uproar. The negative attention is unfortunate because this could have been a show that highlighted mixed-orientation couples and how these couples can actually make their relationships work. Why do some people become so outspoken and judgmental about marriages with one straight and one gay spouse? There are several reasons. These marriages raise concerns about infidelity. They fetch out people’s verdicts about what marriage should or should not be. In particular, they deliver out people’s assessments about monogamy. Finally, these relationships suggest to some people “reparative therapy,” the unethical and impossible claim that a person can be changed from gay to straight. The men in this television program aren’t claiming to be ex-gay nor that they can change their sexual orientation (at least not on the show). They report they are attracted to men but choose not to live as a gay male and their unbent wives accept this. People seem to receive up in arms when a dude says he is not gay but rather simply attracted to men. In our culture, we identify ourselves via a sexual-attraction binary: gay or direct. This is severely limiting For the past year, I’ve been having regular sex with a gay male I'll call Oliver. We were best friends for years, attending many Event parades and taking weekend hiking trips. But last year, after a very drunken night, we slept together—and we still are today. He maintains that he still is, and always has been, a gay man. After the first time, we were predictably awkward and British about it. We laughed a bit that it had happened, and then we agreed we shouldn’t carry out it again. That lasted maybe three days. The first few months had all the expected exciting parts of sleeping with your best bud, but they were also tinged with this brand new fresh thing. Oliver had never been with a gal before, and he was completely unaware of what a vulva or a clitoris was. Fortunately, Oliver had the benefit of my feminist Orgasm Gap rants over the past five years, and took to the task of making me come with admirable tenacity. One of the sweetest moments of that year was conclusion the book She Comes First on his bedside table. Men I’ve slept with before often have this false bravado around sex, like they need
Re: Pansexual ; Being sexually attracted to gay guys
I also hear you expressing what sounds like a want to yourself be male, but since you express you identify as a woman, it doesn't sound like this is about being potentially trans or nonbinary for you. However, I'd have to notice more from you on all of this to get a better meaning of things. From the outside and only what you said here, it sounds to me prefer this might just be about you being attracted to your own Notion of g I'm a Woman Who's Sleeping With a Gay Dude (Yes, He's Still Gay)