Why do gay men like straight guys
Why do some straight men have sex with other men?
According to nationally-representative surveys in the United States, hundreds of thousands of straight-identified men have had sex with other men.
In the new book Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility among White Men in Rural America released today, UBC sociologist Dr. Tony Silva argues that these men – many of whom enjoy hunting, fishing and shooting guns – are not closeted, bisexual or just experimenting.
After interviewing 60 of these men over three years, Dr. Silva found that they love a range of relationships with other men, from hookups to sexual friendships to secretive loving partnerships, all while strongly spotting with straight culture.
We spoke with Dr. Silva about his book.
Why do straight-identified men have sex with other men?
The majority of the men I interviewed reported that they are primarily attracted to women, not men. Most of these men are also married to women and prefer to have sex with women. They explained that although they loved their wives, their marital sex lives were not as active as they wanted. Sex with men allowed them to hold more sex. They don’t consider sex with men cheating and s
LastweekI took to my Facebook wall to repost this HuffPost article about 13 straight male German stars kissing for a GQ photo shoot to demonstration homophobia and intolerance. Some gay men posted and sent me messages stating that they initiate it erotic to watch two unbent men kiss -- sometimes more so than watching two gay men peck. Some said they found this as erotic as two women kissing might be to a straight guy. This got me wondering: Why are some gay men sexually turned on by straight men? Some even prefer unbent men over queer men!
Before I fetch readers insisting that not all lgbtq+ men are attracted to straight men, let me utter I know that. I know, too, that it's politically incorrect to accept that there are gay men who are attracted to and pursue vertical men, thanks to the myth that we gay men will pursue anyone who's male, ignoring social norms and acceptable etiquette. Of course this is ridiculous. In truth, it's so ridiculous that I performed some stand-up comedy on the topic, which you can see here:
Because of the projection from many a threatened straight male -- that every gay man is going to desire to hit on him -- same-sex attracted men have silenced themselves on this topic
10 Reasons Gays Chase Straights
We've all done it, and some of us perform it over and over again. What leads woman loving woman and gay grown-ups to abandon reason and pursue the sexually unobtainable?
1 EVERYONE IS STRAIGHT To paraphrase Harvey Fierstein in Torch Song Trilogy, we inhabit in a world where every movie, every TV show, and every billboard tells us we're linear. Heck, even the flagrantly homoerotic Abercrombie & Fitch ads toss in a bikini-clad woman for every 10 buff shiftless dudes, lest we think the fellas aren't hankering for female companionship. With such a thick coat of heterosexual whitewash splashed over every sexual image, it takes a powerfully gender non-conforming imagination--and sometimes many nights at Crazy Nanny's or the Spike, or years in therapy--to construct an object of desire that's truly our own, fully hetero-free.
Every time some gossip rag talks about how "no man can resist" J. Lo's derriere or how "women everywhere" are swooning over Ashton Kutcher, it's a reminder that for a shocking number of people in this culture, gay people just don't exist. Who else are we supposed to find attractive when we're living in a gay-free zone?
2 EVERYONE CAN BE HAD Straight
What Gay and Bi Men Really Want
Are physical and sexual attraction the most appealing qualities in a partner? Or are unseen qualities like good manners and reliability the most attractive?
Following on from his investigate into what vertical women want and what straight men want, D&M Research’s managing director Derek Jones has taken the next coherent step with his latest study into what gay and bi(sexual) men want.
In order to bury deeper and depict out a real list of turn-ons and turn-offs for gay and bi men, Derek once again used of the Im-Ex Polygraph method. He originally devised this technique of analysis to distinguish what people say they want from brands, products or services from what they really want by comparing stated versus derived measures of importance.
Qualities the gay and bi men said they desired in a partner (‘stated’) were compared to the qualities present in example celebrities they nominated as attractive (‘implied’). The identical comparison was made between stated and implied negative qualities, to determine what attributes are really the biggest turn-offs.
What gay and bi men say they want
Just like vertical women and vertical men, “we adore be
I recently finished reading Dr. Robert Garfield’s terrific fresh book, Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Influence of Friendship, and last week participated in a joint interview with him by Dr. Dan Gottlieb on WHYY (National Universal Radio) in Philadelphia. This all got me thinking about my own friendships and those of my gay male clients. The bonds between gay men and straight women possess been written about and featured in popular media (i.e. Sex in the City, Will and Grace), though a lot less has been said about how gay and unbent men recognize and negotiate the distinct challenges, complications, and rewards of their friendships.
Source: istock
According to Garfield, among the many obstacles to male-male platonic attachment, fear of homosexuality looms large. Straight men fret that if they acquire too close, others will see them as gay; which in their minds means feminine (horrors!), fragile, and perverted. Perhaps even scarier is that their emotional connections will somehow morph into sexual attraction. Interestingly, in the U.S., before there was such a thing as a gay identity, some unbent men would, with petty shame, engage in sexual contact with other men (usually allow